


Ravenclaw Watching

by nagi_schwarz



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: M/M, outside pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-21
Updated: 2006-09-21
Packaged: 2018-05-26 07:03:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6228550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Otori Tsukiko watches Harry and Cedric and learns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ravenclaw Watching

Otori Tsukiko was sure that the Hat had sorted her into Ravenclaw out of pure spite. Tsuki had never been one to hold for stereotypes, and the insistence that because she was Japanese she must have been an excellent student grated on her sense of pride. Of course, considering that it was nearing the witching hour - three a.m. to those who ignored assumptions about midnight - and she was still awake doing homework meant that perhaps the Hat hadn't been so wrong. Tsuki told herself that she was a good student in spite of the racial stereotypes. After all, her brother was a slouch who was more interested in his video games than in his school work.

Tsuki, though she hailed from an entirely muggle family, had somehow become part of Cho Chang's studious female entourage. Her duties included studying hard, sharing her meticulously kept notes, and giggling on cue at either Cedric Diggory or Harry Potter, whichever one was present at the time. Tsuki wasn't really interested in giggling at boys, but she played along because Cho did keep really fantastic notes.

As if to spite her, a swirl of robes signalled the arrival of a prefect. Tsuki ducked back against the wall and saw none other than Cedric Diggory striding down the hallway. A quick cast of a Disillusionment charm rendered her invisible to Cedric, who seemed rather preoccupied. There was a tension in his shoulders and in his grey eyes that spoke to some sort of distress. Tsuki would have thought that the older Hufflepuffs would still be celebrating their prefect as the Hogwarts Champion. It was a well-kept secret that Hufflepuffs threw the best parties. Cedric certainly had looked the part of the Champion earlier that evening, with his blazing grey eyes and pretty face. He didn't look all that pleased to be a champion now.

Due to her insomniac tendencies, Tsuki had become a night wanderer to rival Filch and his cat. She had only been caught twice, her first and second years, and learned from the experience. Usually when she spotted a prefect she hurried back to the Ravenclaw dorms, but the witching hour was late even for a prefect to be awake. Cedric swept down the corridor, muttering under his breath. Curious, Tsuki decided to follow. She cast a muffling charm on her feet, and sent her books back to her room, then began her pursuit. Perhaps if she learned something interesting about Cedric, she could use it as leverage to convince Cho to help with a special arithmancy project.

Cedric stopped abruptly. He turned and gazed out of an arrow loop. Tsuki paused and considered the scene with an analytical eye. It was a poetic moment, to say the least, the pensive youth bathed in moonlight as he contemplated his destiny. With a twinge of annoyance, Tsuki conceded in her mind that maybe Cho wasn't so wrong about how attractive Cedric was. This was as good a chance as any to admire him undetected, to say the least. He was too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice her.

"I can't stand this dank air." Cedric raked a long-fingered hand through his hair, disheveling it. "I - I need to get out." He spun on his heel and began walking quickly.  
Tsuki cursed her lack of height and trotted soundlessly to keep up with him. He led her to the owlery, which was bloody cold. Tsuki wondered if she could spare a whisper to cast a warming charm. Then Cedric began to stomp up the tower steps, so she cast the charm and followed. He paused halfway up, and tipped his head back to look at the stars. His cheeks were flushed from the cold, and he began to shiver. As an afterthought, he drew his wand and cast a warming charm on himself. Then he sank against the stone ledge and sighed.

"Is this what you wanted, father? Eternal glory on the Diggory name?" He ran a hand through his hair again.

This wasn't what Tsuki had expected. She wondered if she should let him be, but then he spoke again.

"I should be glad that I have this chance. Everyone makes fun of the Hufflepuffs - I should be proud to do this for them, for my school. But I really don't care. The others who entered alongside me were just as good at magic, if not better. That doesn't matter - you'll be so bloody proud of me, to everyone who'll listen, and even those who won't." Cedric's laugh was self-deprecating and bitter. "That Harry's name came out of the Goblet and overshadowed me - I'm sure that somehow that'll be my fault too." He threw his head back and laughed at the sky. He sounded slightly mad. When he turned, Tsuki saw his face. His eyes shone wildly, and he looked almost exhilarated.  
"Are you happy now, Dad? Are you enjoying living your life through me? Will I finally matter if I win this thing? Or will I matter more if I die?"

Cedric wrapped his arms around himself and burrowed down in his robes. Tsuki remembered doing the same thing as a child, back in Japan, burrowing into her mother's haori for warmth, for the scent of her perfume, for the safety it brought. Just then, Cedric looked vulnerable, as fragile as a child. He wasn't the Cedric Diggory who girls giggled over, the handsome Quidditch captain who all the boys were jealous of and admired. The casual confidence that was the essence of Cedric Diggory was nowhere to be seen.

Tsuki remembered her own recriminating ruminations on stereotypes and assumptions, and chastised herself silently. She should not have been surprised that Cedric had another side, a human side that belied his unnaturally perfect facade. She was surprised that his pain ran so deep. Yes, she ought to go.

She turned, careful to keep her movement stealthy despite all her added charms, and a soft gasp broke her ninja mien. Cedric was rising slowly, creeping toward the top of the stairs, to where light had flared in the owlery momentarily, the casting of a spell. He had his wand at the ready, and moved with the grace of a stalking cat. In case it was something dangerous, Tsuki drew her wand as well.

Standing in the middle of the owlery addressing a snowy white owl was none other than Harry Potter. His gestures were wild, and his flushed face was angry and hurt all at once. His mouth moved but there was no sound. He had cast a silencing charm. He was so busy ranting that he didn't notice when Cedric dispelled the charm with a casual flick of his wand. Tsuki remembered the other students who had entered their names in the Goblet and thought that Cedric was wrong when he thought that they were all equally as good at magic as he.

" -- hates me, now! My own best friend, the only real friend I've ever had besides Hermione, and now he hates me!" Harry threw his hands up. He was staring at the owl, which had its head cocked to on side curiously, as if wondering what this human boy was shouting about.

Cedric hovered a few steps below the tower room. He watched raptly, so still that he might have been a statue.

Harry began pacing a small circle on the stone floor. "What am I supposed to do? I don't want eternal glory. I don't want to die - I already have an insane Dark Lord after me. I just want to be normal. No one understands that." He jammed his hands into his pockets, and Tsuki could see that they were clenched into fists. "I don't want to be the bloody Boy Who Lived, famous for something I didn't even really do. I don't want to be a freak who makes things happen. I didn't want to be the Heir of Slytherin - I just want to be left alone. Clearly that was too much to ask." He rounded on the bird, and his voice dropped, low and beseeching. "What d'you think, Hedwig? Am I going to die? Am I going to have to kill something again, maybe another reincarnated Tom Riddle?"

Tsuki wondered who Tom Riddle was, if he was some sort of dangerous figure from Harry's past.

The white owl must have been Harry's owl. It hooted softly. Harry reached up and stroked its head. "No one believes I didn't put my name in, not even Dumbledore. Certainly not Cedric or any of the others. He's the perfect champion - handsome and good at school and Quidditch and everything else." Harry sighed and turned away. "If I tell Sirius, he'll endanger himself to come see me or something stupid like that."

Tsuki's eyes went wide. Sirius - as in Sirius Black? The escaped convict? Harry knew him personally?

Harry bowed his head. "I just wish I was invisible. Then everything would stop."

Cedric drew in a breath sharply.

Harry spun around, wand drawn. "Who's there?"

Tsuki blinked. For such a young kid, he was paranoid. Then again, if the rumours about him were true, then maybe he had cause to be paranoid.

For all that Cedric was a Hufflepuff, he seemed to have some Gryffindor courage in him, for he rose up and ascended the last few steps.  
"It's just me."

Harry's grip on his wand relaxed, and he let his arm fall to his side. His green eyes were shadowed behind his glasses. "Diggory. I suppose you'll be taking house points for my breaking curfew." And then his eyes narrowed. "I cast a silencing charm."

Cedric shrugged. There was an unreadable expression on his face as he studied  
Harry. "I disarmed it."

Harry reached up and ran a hand over his own hair. It was a gesture Tsuki had seen him make many times, but for the first time she realized that it was a deliberate attempt at hiding the famous scar.  
"What did you hear?"

"That you feel about as enthusiastic about this whole business as I do," Cedric said.

Harry tilted his head to the side and said, "But you put your name in voluntarily."

"About as voluntarily as you did." Cedric held Harry's gaze evenly.

Tsuki could sense the tension between them. For a moment she considered ducking out before the fists flew, then decided she ought to stay in case the hexes flew.

Harry Potter would have been an attractive boy if he weren't so scrawny and his face didn't have the thin, pinched look of one who never had enough food. James Potter, as Tsuki had discovered from an old book on school Quidditch, had been very handsome himself, as well as quite popular. Harry's most striking feature, however, was his eyes, green and piercing. For all that he looked scrawny and underaged, his eyes held a wisdom and maturity that, in this stand-off, was almost frightening.  
"Oh?" Harry's tone was icy, almost mocking.

Cedric broke their stare and lowered his head, a bright blush staining his cheeks. "You met my father this summer. He's so bloody proud of me that it's embarrassing. He wanted me to enter, and so I did." Cedric raked a hand through his hair, frustration creeping into his tone. "He lives his life through me. Most days, I don't think I even exist to him. When I fail...I might as well not have been born."

Harry made a good show of remaining unimpressed, but if Cedric had looked up he would have seen sympathy glimmer in those green eyes. "So you reckon I put my name in the Goblet out of a sense of obligation."

Cedric shook his head and lifted his gaze. "No, no I don't. You're only a kid - you couldn't have thwarted Dumbledore's magic anymore than me or Krum or Fleur  
could've." There was a pause, then, "I don't want to die."

"I hope you don't. I hope neither of us do." Harry's gaze was merely measuring now. "Did you hear about my godfather, then?"

Sirius Black was Harry's godfather?

The corner of Cedric's mouth curved up in a grim smile and he said, "You have a godfather?"

The two boys stood looking at each other, Harry half in shadow, like a malicious sprite from A Midsummer Night's Dream, Cedric in the moonlight like a godling just descended to earth.

Finally, Cedric said, "Let's just take it like a game. We both give it the best we've got, and try to be fair."

Harry smiled wryly. "I'll be sure to call a forfeit if you get attacked by a Dementor."

"Thanks." Cedric held out one hand. "Play hard."

Harry hesitated for a moment, then clasped Cedric's hand firmly. He said, a beat too late, "You too."

Time seemed to slow down, and Tsuki swore she felt magic tingle in the air when the two hands met. Both boys went still, gazing at each other's hands, joined, and a current sparked between them.

Tsuki stared in awe.

Harry jerked back abruptly. "Sorry. Must have been - static electricity, or something."

Cedric, a pureblood, looked puzzled at the muggle reference, but nodded and curled his hand closed surreptitiously. "Yeah. Sorry. Well - good night."

" 'Night." Harry darted around Cedric and thundered down the stairs. Tsuki barely managed to avoid being crashed into. Cedric remained standing at the top of the stairs, staring at his hand.

Tsuki decided things were weird enough and headed back to her room.

 

***

 

The second time she saw Cedric and Harry together, she was on her way to a potions class. If she hadn't believed Harry's innocence in placing his name in the cup after the scene at the owlery, she would certainly have believed it after watching him face down a dragon. The three willing champions were mad, that was for sure.

Tsuki, due to her brother's predilection for video games, viewed the world like a game, and so to her people walked around with name tags floating just above their heads. Cedric Diggory must have had a free hour, for he strode down the corridor unburdened with books. Along with the rest of the students in her year, Tsuki was fretting about her OWL's, and desperate to do well on the potions practical. Still, she allowed herself the perverse pleasure of watching the handsome boy approach, the tag "Pretty Boy Diggory" floating beside his head, subtitled "Mad Contestant Number 3." He didn't notice her suddenly fumbling in her bag for a quill, but then Tsuki was just a waifish wraith that trailed in Cho's shadow. Of course Cedric wouldn't notice her.

He did, however, notice a frustrated-looking Harry Potter storming out of the potions classroom. The hatred between The Boy Who Almost Got Eaten By A Dragon and Snape was infamous.

"Can I have a word?" Cedric asked.

Harry spun, surprised. With a murmured charm and a flick of her wand, Tsuki was Disillusioned, pressed against the wall across from them.

"Cedric," Harry said, voice wary.

Cedric darted a nervous look around, then stepped into the stone nook below the window, half concealed by heavy velvet drapery. He beckoned, and Harry followed.  
The two boys stood looking at each other.

"Did you need something - ?"  
"Good flying back there."

They began speaking at the same time, and cut themselves off with matching embarrassed smiles.

Harry pushed his glasses further up his nose nervously. "I heard you did a pretty good job yourself. The Labrador trick sounded impressive."

"Thanks. A Wronski Feint - I don't think I've even dared that one in a game." Cedric raked a hand through his hair. Tsuki thought it was adorable when he did that.

From the blush staining Harry's cheeks darker, he might have thought the same thing.  
"It was really the only thing I could do." He fiddled with the strap on his book bag. "I'm younger and not as good with magic, so...I just played to my strengths."

There was another pause, filled with blushing and fidgeting, mostly from Harry. A strange expression played across Cedric's face, a combination of nerves and something that Tsuki would have called longing.  
"Ah, I'd rather ignore the tournament for now, honestly." Cedric ran a hand through his hair again.

Harry seemed game to try to keep up the conversation. "I'm a bit disappointed that Quidditch was cancelled this year. I would have liked to play against you again, without interference."

Cedric smiled wryly, and looked a ghost of his usual self, though he was still much more composed than Harry. "After watching you fly, I'm not so sure I would be able to win without some...interference."

"Don't be silly. You're a good seeker. I've seen you fly as well." Harry fiddled with the strap of his bag a moment longer, then let his hand fall to his side. "It would be fun to fly against Krum, I think. Imagine that - three seekers, one tournament. Think Fleur flies?" Then he ducked his head. "Sorry. You didn't want to talk about - "

"That's all right," Cedric said. "You're right. It would be fun to fly with Krum."

Tsuki reflected that she was missing her potions class, and would probably end up in  
detention with Snape for it, but for some reason she was drawn to watching them.

"I heard you and your best friend made up," Cedric said, after another awkward pause.

Harry shrugged. "Yeah. He reckoned anyone who would willingly face down a dragon must be mad."

"I think I am mad, facing down a dragon just so my father will smile at me." It was said quietly, more a murmur to himself than a contribution to the conversation.

Harry shrugged uneasily. "At least you have a father."

Cedric's head snapped up, and his grey eyes darkened. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean - "

Harry waved the apology aside. "Doesn't matter."

Cedric pushed back one sleeve and glanced at his watch. "I have a prefects' meeting to get to."

Harry nodded and started to turn away.

Tsuki blinked when Cedric's hand darted out and caught Harry by the wrist, as if catching a snitch.

"I wanted to say - I just - thanks for talking." Cedric's smile was painfully tentative.  
"Sometimes I think you're the only one who could possibly understand."

Curiosity sparked in Harry's green eyes. "No problem."

Cedric realized he was still holding Harry's wrist, and let go an instant too late. He watched Harry walk away, then spun on his heel and headed for the prefects' lounge.  
Harry glanced over his shoulder, then down at his wrist, then moved on as well.

 

***

 

The night of the Yule Ball, Tsuki had danced most of the evening with a nice Hufflepuff boy from her year, the date artfully arranged by Cho - the boy was a friend of Cedric's, apparently. Resplendent in a formal kimono, Tsuki knew that she had stood out from the other girls in their dress robes. Still, she remained dutifully in Cho's shadow, giggling along with the rest of the girls while Cedric was off fetching drinks and mingling with some of the other students. Tsuki knew that Harry had also asked Cho to the ball, and had been staring at the pretty Chinese girl and her Champion date all evening. Now Harry sat on the sidelines while his date danced with someone else, and he looked particularly despondent. Idly, Tsuki wondered if Harry wasn't actually staring at Cedric more.

Cedric returned, gallantly bearing two cups of punch. Around the same time, Tsuki's date returned, and she thanked him demurely for the drink.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Cedric asked Cho.

She nodded. "It's absolutely wonderful. Everything is so beautiful." She smiled up at Cedric. "It sounds a bit muggle, but...tonight has been magical."

Cedric laughed. "I'm glad." Then he smiled at the others; he was so unfailingly nice and polite that Tsuki wondered if it ever drove him mad. They all murmured various admiring comments.

"I was surprised to see Hermione Granger with Viktor Krum," one of the other girls offered, and Tsuki dutifully nodded her agreement. "Especially with all that business between her and Harry Potter."

Something dark descended in Cedric's eyes. "Potter and Granger aren't actually dating, are they?"

"If they are, Krum beat him to the punch," another girl said.

Cedric glanced over his shoulder to where Harry sat alone with his best friend, and his brow furrowed.

Gently, Tsuki said, "I actually think that someone other than Harry has an interest in Miss Granger. Shame she isn't a Ravenclaw, really."

Abruptly, Cedric held out his hand. "Cho, shall we dance?"

She nodded and beamed, and followed him out onto the dance floor. Tsuki and her date followed soon thereafter. For the first time that evening, she saw Harry staring at Cho while Cedric looked back.

Now that the dancing was done, Tsuki would have to troop up to the Ravenclaw girls' dorm and listen to Cho gush about how lovely Cedric was. She would admit that they had made an attractive couple, but for the rest of the night after the punch interlude, Cedric seemed less enthusiastic about the event.

Tsuki reached up and tugged the hairpins out of her hair, and sighed in relief when the tension lifted off her skull. She shook her hair loose, reveling in the freedom. As an afterthought, she tucked the hairpins into one sleeve pocket. She started for the stairs, and there witnessed a magnificent blow-out between Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley that confirmed Tsuki's earlier theory, that someone other than Harry was interested in the brilliant Miss Granger. Hermione sank down on the steps weeping, and Ron headed up the stairs. Harry looked to follow, and then stopped. He went entirely still, and the green of his eyes deepened intently. Tsuki had seen that look, once, watching a fox stalking a bird. She followed the line of his gaze and saw Cedric, with Cho on his arm, stepping out of the Great Hall.

Cedric seemed to feel Harry's gaze on him and turned. He detached himself from Cho and dashed up the stairs toward Harry.

"Potter!"

Harry, having been caught staring, turned and started up the stairs, but paused at the sound of his name.

Tsuki was beginning to wonder if this was some sort of pattern, and cast a Disillusionment charm on herself. She was glad that her kimono had such fantastic sleeve pockets in which to stow her wand.

"How are you doing?" Cedric asked, a bit haltingly.

Harry turned and gazed at Cedric in disbelief. "Spectacular," he said, tone slightly sarcastic.

Cedric leaned in slightly. "Listen, I never really thanked you for warning me about the dragons."

Tsuki arched one eyebrow. Harry had done that? How had he found out?

Harry turned away. "It was nothing. You would have done the same."

Cedric reached out. "Exactly."

Harry paused and turned back.

A slight smirk curved the corner of Cedric's mouth. "Have you figured out the egg yet?"

Harry shook his head.

Cedric leaned in again, and lowered his voice. "You know the prefect's bathroom on the fifth floor?"

Tsuki's other eyebrow went up. Was this what it sounded like?

"It's a really great place to have a bath."

It was!

Harry looked baffled.

Cedric plowed ahead. "You should take your egg and sit in the water and...mull things  
over. The password is 'pine fresh.'"

Harry looked as confused as Tsuki felt. Was that some bizarre invitation, or an implication that Harry smelled funny?

Cedric stepped back. "Think about it. I have to say goodnight to Cho." He turned and trotted down the stairs, to where Cho was with the other girls. Tsuki mused that she ought to have been with said other girls.

Harry watched Cedric go, then resumed his ascension of the stairs. Tsuki was amused to see him sniff himself, shrug, and move on.

 

***

 

Tsuki was frustrated. She had had enough trouble as a child learning how to speak English. The fact that she needed to learn Latin if she wanted to be able to create her own spells was obnoxious and annoying. She had a Wheelock in Japanese and Latin open on one knee, and rolls and rolls of conjugation and declension charts spread out on the grass around her.

In the wake of the Second Task, Cho was gushing left and right about how she had been the thing Cedric would miss most. Tsuki had knelt beside Cho after Cedric's daring rescue, supplying her with towels and warm blankets, and she had an inkling that Cho's assertion was vaguely incorrect. Cedric had huddled beside his father, wrapped in a towel, blinking at Cho in confusion. Until Harry had surfaced, Cedric's gaze had been fixed on the water, searching, nearly desperate. Tsuki wondered if there wasn't some sort of provision that chose the next most important thing if, say, one champion was the thing another champion would miss most.

Tsuki was tired of Cho's gushing, and was chomping at the bit under her submissive role. She was frustrated with this bloody Latin business, but needed a good grade in charms, and could secure it by creating new charms. She wanted two learn how to cast charms in her native tongue, and had successfully done some arithmancy in kanji - with Cho's help - but casting charms in Japanese seemed impracticable at this point. Tsuki tugged on the end of one pigtail, annoyed, and scowled down at the third declension. If looks could cast charms, the scroll would have been incinerated. Tsuki had plans to create a whole new system of charms that would allow muggle implements, mostly electronic devices, to run on magic. It would make life for muggle-borns like her more interesting. As much as Tsuki loved magic, she missed her laptop and the Internet more than any of her pureblood friends could understand. She cursed under her breath in Japanese and began gathering up her supplies. She wanted to curl up on her bed with a good volume of manga, preferably one full of bishonen, and -

Voices broke through her study shield. Automatically she ducked behind the boulder that had been sheltering her from the wind, and waited. One set of footsteps crunched through the tall grass. Tsuki held her breath, listening intently. The footsteps bypassed the boulder, and someone sighed. Grass rustled, and school robes whispered against the bark of the willow tree. Tsuki cast a Disillusionment charm on herself - and she really was becoming quite proficient at it - and eased up off the grass. She tip-toed around the boulder and tree, and there he was, Cedric Diggory.

The subtitle beneath his name-tag read "depressed emo kid." Too bad most of the students wouldn't understand the reference.

Cedric had hung his cloak on a branch above him and then stretched out on the grass, gazing up at the sky. His expression was bleak, and Tsuki felt sympathy twist in her chest. Cedric laced his fingers together behind his head and sighed heavily again.

After gazing on him for a long moment, Tsuki withdrew and continued packing up her gear. She wondered if anyone would think it odd, a hazy blur of heat in late February shifting around scrolls and textbooks as if it were normal. Perhaps, of course, this might be normal in the magical world. In many ways, Tsuki was still too much of a muggle for her own good.

More footsteps approached, and Tsuki froze. Scrolls tumbled from her hands and into the grass. A boy, shoulders hunched, one hand clutching the strap of his book bag as if it were a lifeline, walked down the slope from the school. Tsuki scrutinized him. He had black hair, windblown and a little messy. The red on the cloak slung over one shoulder meant he was a Gryffindor. Thirty galleons said it was Harry Potter.

Too bad that was an imaginary bet, Tsuki thought.

Harry moved straight past Tsuki's study nook between the tree and the boulder, and didn't even notice her school supplies scattered in the grass. He rounded the willow's wide trunk, and came up short abruptly. As was becoming her habit, Tsuki followed. This time she knelt in the grass and got comfortable to watch.

"Cedric."

The older boy sat up, looking startled. "Harry. What - what brings you out here?"

Harry fiddled with the strap of his bag. "Sometimes I come to sit beside the willow and just...think."

Cedric drew one knee up to his chest. "That's weird. I come out here to think all the time, and I've never run into you once."

A blush spread across Harry's cheeks. "Well, I tend to come rather late in the evening."

"Past curfew?" Cedric couldn't even summon some vestige of prefect-proper chastisement for his words.

Harry shrugged. "Yeah."

"I can leave, if you like." Cedric began to rise. "I was just looking at the sky."

"What? No! You were here first. I can go. I can be alone...somewhere else." Harry turned and began heading up the hill again.

Cedric watched him go, something akin to panic on his face. He called out, "Cho told me."

Harry froze. Without turning, he said, "Told you what?"

"That you asked her to the Ball."

Tsuki remembered that portion of the drama all too well.

Harry's shoulders slumped slightly. "Yeah. Yeah, I did." He faced Cedric, green eyes innocently blank. "What of it?"

Cedric seemed both alarmed and relieved that his ploy had worked. "It's just - if I'd known you wanted to go with her, I would have asked someone else."

That wasn't what Harry had expected. Tsuki supposed he would have been expecting some sort of rebuff, or challenge, or demand to leave Cho alone.

"That's all right. You asked her first. Besides, she's the most important thing to you - at school, at any rate." Harry's shoulders hunched, and he turned to go again.

Raw pain shone out of Cedric's eyes. "That's not true."

Harry kept walking.

"When I got to the bottom of the lake, I didn't know what I was expecting to see, but it wasn't her."

Harry hesitated for a second, then kept going.

Cedric turned his face away and stared down at his hand, curled into a loose fist on his lap. "I suppose, if I had expected it to actually be a person, it would have been you, but then that wouldn't have worked, would it?"

"What are you saying?" Harry's head came up, but he didn't turn.

Cedric raked a hand through his hair, his movements jerky and sharp with anger - at himself. "I don't know what I'm saying. Honestly, I don't know what's going on anymore, or who I am."

Harry said, still facing away, "You're Cedric Diggory, the true Hogwarts Champion. You hate that your image is a lie, and you wish your father could love you for yourself rather than for his second youth. You're the only person who can make me feel pain when I see you as sad as you are now."

Cedric remained unmoving in the grass, head bowed.

Harry turned halfway, and Tsuki caught the faintest traces of a smile on his lips. "I hope you win the final task. You deserve it." And then he walked away.

Cedric's fist curled tighter, but he remained as still as ever. His shoulders quivered with tension, as if he were fighting an inner struggle, as if he wanted to watch the other boy walk away but couldn't let himself, in case something in him broke. Cedric's head came up just as Harry crested the hill. Then he buried his face in his hands, and Tsuki let him be.

***

Over the next couple of weeks, Tsuki watched Cedric fall apart at the seams. He and Harry avoided each other in the hallways. To the rest of the school, Cedric must have seemed the perfect champion, as handsome and charming as ever, and triumphant to boot. Cho complained a little about his lack of attention to her, but everyone else seemed to be paying attention to her, because she mattered most to the official Hogwarts' hero.  
  
Tsuki watched Cedric in the corridors. He smiled as people greeted him, and was unfailingly polite, but something fractured in his eyes when he saw Harry in the corridor, and the younger boy turned and walked the other way.   
  
Once all the other students were gone Cedric's smile vanished, and he sank against the wall. The expression on his face was so carefully blank that it was almost painful to see, for Cedric seemed to break a little more each time he saw Harry. His veneer of confidence was so fragile that Tsuki could only wonder how no one else could see what was happening to him.  
  
It seemed that, besides Tsuki, Harry was the only one who could see. Self-loathing filled his eyes whenever he caught sight of Cedric and forced himself to turn and walk the other way.  
  
It was a Hogsmeade Saturday, and most of the students were back in the dorms, examining their new purchases and recounting all the fun they had had in escaping the castle walls for a few hours. Tsuki had accompanied Cho through most of the clothing stores in search of pretty new robes. Tsuki tended to wear muggle clothes or a simple kimono when she wasn't in uniform, and didn't really understand the fuss, but she trailed along dutifully. Tsuki and rest of the entourage stopped off at the Three Broomsticks so Cho and Cedric could spend time at Madam Puddifoot's. Tsuki had seen Harry with his two best friends, making an admirable attempt at being cheerful, but mostly failing. Luckily for him, his friends assumed it was anxiety about the Third Task.  
  
Back at the school, Tsuki was drifting along the edges of the Forbidden Forest, trying to clear her head. To distract herself from Cho's twittering about Cedric and pretty robes, she had run over charm options in her head, and now they were all mixed up with her kanji arithmancy theory. Tsuki missed her family and friends. She especially missed hearing her native tongue. To soothe herself, she began to sing softly under her breath, one of the songs her mother had always sung to her as a child.  
  
 _"Ue o muite...arukou...namida ga...kobore nai youni..."_  
  
"That's a sad song."  
  
Tsuki spun, wand out.  
  
Cedric stood on the edge of the trees, hands in his pockets, gazing up at the sky again.  
  
"You think so?" she asked, and lowered her wand slowly. He was right; it was a sad song.  
  
"The melody, it's sad. I can't understand the words, though." Cedric turned to her, and Tsuki sucked in a breath sharply. His grey eyes were hollow and empty, as if the life behind them had been snuffed out. His smile was crooked and worn. Tsuki had seen the same smile once, on her grandfather, at the moment when he knew it was his time to die.  
  
Cedric ran that hollow gaze over her, and she shivered. He said, "You're one of Cho's friends."  
  
Tsuki nodded. "Indeed. Forgive me if I giggle every time you come by, but I am a well-trained minion."  
  
"I would be a fool to assume that everyone is as they appear." Cedric raked a hand through his hair and turned back to the sky.  
  
They stood silently for a moment. Finally, Tsuki said, "Well, it's getting a bit cold. I'm going inside. You might want to do the same."  
  
As she headed up the hill, she pretended not to hear him say to himself,  
"I'm already cold inside, and it doesn't get much colder than this."  
  
As fortune seemed to have it these days, Harry Potter came meandering down the hill toward the Forbidden Forest. Even if he wasn't a champion by choice, he seemed to share their insane bravery. Tsuki cast a Disillusionment charm on herself with barely a thought, and turned to follow. She halted a decent distance away, so she could see them but not hear them. She reckoned they deserved that much.  
  
Cedric jumped when he sensed Harry's approach. Harry paused, looking embarrassed, and made to leave, but Cedric caught his hand and tugged him back. The cold seemed to hit them at the same time, and they both shivered. Cedric stepped closer to Harry and began to talk, his expression intense. The younger boy seemed riveted to Cedric's words, staring up at him. Then Harry shook his head and pulled away again.  
  
This time Cedric let him go. Tsuki wondered, if she had been closer, if she would have actually heard the sound of his soul breaking.  
  
Harry took two, three steps, and then stopped. Behind him, Cedric stood with his head bowed, as if already resigned to his fate. Then Harry began to speak, slowly, haltingly, and Cedric's head came up. Harry continued to speak doggedly, and his hands curled into fists at his side.  
  
Cedric said something, and Harry whipped around. He stepped closer to Cedric, and Tsuki could see that he was shouting. Cedric lowered his head again, as if accepting the torrent of words. Finally Harry stopped, chest heaving, out of breath. Cedric lifted his head again, and spoke gently, his expression softening. This time, Harry nodded.  
  
A shy smile blossomed across Cedric's face, and from her spot in the grass, Tsuki cheered silently.  
  
Harry reach out and slipped his hand into Cedric's, squeezing briefly. They stood looking at each other for a moment. This time, when Harry turned and walked away, Cedric watched him go calmly. Harry was smiling as well when he passed Tsuki.  
  
When she saw them in the hallway next, they smiled at each other, and though their words were casual and friendly, their eyes shone with new light.  
  


***

  
  
  
The sixth time Tsuki caught Harry and Cedric together, she was on her way back to the Ravenclaw dorms after one of her insomniac fits of studying.  
  
Harry was pressed into an alcove between two suits of armor, half draped in shadow. Cedric was pressed against him, one hand braced against the wall to prevent himself from crushing Harry against the unforgiving stone, the other stroking Harry's hair tenderly.  
  
Harry gazed up at Cedric, lips parted, eyes dark and slightly dazed. Cedric brushed a thumb over Harry's cheekbone, and then plucked the glasses off the boy's face. They stood gazing into each other's eyes for a long moment, drinking in the sight of one another, and then they melted together in a slow, soul-searing kiss.  
  
Harry clung to Cedric, hands fisted in the white uniform shirt, and arched into the kiss as if trying to drink down everything Cedric offered. The older boy finally pulled back, slightly breathless. He ran a reverent hand down the side of Harry's face and whispered,  
"I love you."  
  
Harry said, "I love you too," and leaned up to kiss Cedric again.  
  
Tsuki withdrew silently.  
  


***

  
  
  
The last time Tsuki saw Harry and Cedric together was at the Third Task. Harry was kneeling over Cedric's lifeless body and sobbing.  
  
Dumbledore and several other professors surged forward. Fleur had screamed, and on Tsuki's other side, Cho was crying as well. The teachers kept trying to pry Harry away, but he clung stubbornly. He was stammering about Voldemort being back, Voldemort murdering Cedric.  
  
"Cedric - he asked me to bring his body back. I couldn't leave him - not there." Harry bowed his head and began sobbing anew. It was Moody who finally detached Harry from his lover, and for an instant Tsuki raged; why would they take Harry away from Cedric? But no one else knew what only Tsuki and Harry knew, and perhaps no one ever would.  
  
It was still heart-breaking when Amos Diggory began to cry over his fallen son.  
  
Tsuki wrapped an arm around Cho's shoulders, wishing she was doing this for Harry instead, and began guiding her away.  
  


***

  
  
Tsuki had never spoken to Harry Potter, except for the small exchanges that were inevitable in the hallways between classes, a minor, “excuse me,” or, “coming through.” She was tired of Cho’s constant weeping and wailing over Cedric’s death. It certainly was a tragedy, and certainly Cho had some sort of proprietary attachment to the Third Champion, but the act was getting old. Cho was a sweet girl at heart, really, but in the end too caught up in her own drama. The rest of the school had avoided speaking to Harry Potter in general, and Tsuki had heard the vicious rumors, that Harry had killed Cedric himself in order to win. Never mind the immense power it took to cast the Killing Curse - Tsuki knew, better than anyone else, that it was impossible for Harry to have killed Cedric. The rest of the students in his house had arranged a simple shrine to Cedric just outside the Great Hall, where the rest of the school would see it everyday as they came to and left after meals.  
  
It was during just such a time that Tsuki saw Harry standing in front of the shrine, staring with stubbornly dry eyes, jaw set. Several other students drifted out of the Great Hall. When they saw Harry, suspicion and even hatred flared in their eyes, and they began to whisper to each other. One boy, a Slytherin, called out boldly,  
“Admiring your handiwork, Potter? Diggory was a good wizard. He must have put up quite the fight before he died.”  
  
His two friends laughed.  
  
Harry’s jaw tightened, but otherwise he didn’t acknowledge them. The Slytherin boy - Tsuki thought he came from a wealthy pureblood family, perhaps - detached himself from his two hulking bodyguards and stepped closer to Harry.  
  
“Seems the Heir of Slytherin has been hiding in Gryffindor colors all along,” he whispered, voice low and taunting. “Always knew you would be the sort to do anything it takes to win.”  
  
Harry spun around, eyes blazing. “I rather think you’re talking about yourself, Malfoy. Then again, you do everything it takes to win and then Daddy still has to finish the job for you.”  
  
Malfoy’s expression turned nasty. “Is that so, Potter? You should know that not everyone at the Ministry thinks much of Dumble-bore’s golden boy. Azkaban is the preferred place for murderers, not a school.”  
  
Despite the venom in his voice, Harry’s eyes looked dead. “I’m sure your father will become well-acquainted with its walls once he is revealed for the vile Death Eater he is.”  
  
Shock flared across Malfoy’s features. He drew his wand. “Moody’s not here to save you now, Potter.”  
  
Tsuki reached out and cuffed Malfoy upside the head.  
  
He spun around, eyes wide. “How dare you!”  
  
“No magic in the hallways,” Tsuki said simply.  
  
Malfoy’s gaze flickered to the lapel of Tsuki’s robes. He smirked. “You’re not a prefect.”  
  
“But I am a girl, and if you don’t stop staring at my chest I’m sure I’ll be within my legal rights to physically defend myself from sexual harassment,” she drawled.  
  
Guiltily, Malfoy flicked his gaze upwards. Maybe his pureblood upbringing had been good for at least something.  
  
“Move along,” Tsuki said.  
  
Muttering angrily under his breath, Malfoy stowed his wand, and he and his goons headed for the stairs that led down to the Slytherin dungeons.  
  
Tsuki watched them go, grim satisfaction on her face, and then sighed, considering all the things she still had to get done before she would be allowed the luxury of sleep. She turned to go, and then Harry’s voice stopped her.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
She lifted one shoulder carelessly. “No big deal.”  
  
Harry’s laugh was cynical and bitter. “It is. Everyone in this school thinks I killed him. I couldn’t have. I wouldn’t have. But then everyone always knows more about me than I do. Isn’t that what Rita Skeeter is for?”  
  
Tsuki wondered if now was the time to do what she had planned. Originally she had thought it would be best to give him her gift right before they boarded the Express home, but maybe he could use it now.  
  
"I believe you."  
  
Harry's brow furrowed. "Really? Apart from Ron and Hermione and Dumbledore, I think you're the only one." He turned back to the shrine. It featured pictures of Cedric from all his years at school, as well as newspaper clippings about the tournament, and a short biography written by Professor Sprout. His eyes were bleak. "My second year I was the Heir of Slytherin, my third year I was the boy who kept fainting in the presence of dementors, and now I'm Cedric Diggory's murderer."  
  
Tsuki hadn't really envisioned her first - and probably last - conversation with Harry Potter like this. Considering all she had got up to this past year, she should have been more than able to handle an emotional Harry.  
  
"Harry -" and she felt so awkward using his name - "believe me when I say that I honestly believe that you did not kill Cedric."  
  
Harry tilted his head to one side quizzically, sardonic disbelief bright in his eyes.  
"What makes you believe that?"  
  
She didn't answer the question directly. As she searched her robe pockets, she could feel his curious gaze on her. After lots of fumbling from her shaking hands, she found it.  
  
A small vial, filled with shining silver liquid.  
  
Recognition lit in Harry's eyes, and Tsuki was surprised and impressed that he knew what it was.  
  
"What's in that memory?" he asked, voice wary.  
  
Tsuki held it out. She said, gently, "I think this belongs to you more than it belongs to me."  
  
He opened his mouth to ask again, and Tsuki just pressed it into his hand. Then she turned and walked away.  
  


***

  
  
For the rest of her life, Tsuki knew that she had seen Harry Potter and Cedric Diggory kissing in the corridors one night in her fifth year, but for the life of her she couldn't really remember what it was like.

**Author's Note:**

> Song credit: Ue O Muite Arukou by Sakamoto Kyu, known more commonly as "Sukiyaki". Sad song. First line translates to "I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall."


End file.
